Never Grow Up®
Life At Work

Memoirs of a Team Offsite!

Team Offsite

If you’ve experienced any of these, you simply have to let us know.

The team brainstorms really hard to decide the destination. But, almost no one is happy with the final decision.

You inform everyone at home not to disturb you during those dates. Even if it means its midnight because you’ll be working late. It’s a serious offsite. [Read as partying!]

The HOD needs an elaborate strategy presentation to be made. But it’s BAU [Business As Usual]. So work on this presentation begins only the night before the offsite.

Being up the full night, gets us to almost miss the flight the next morning. Drowsy, we almost sleep through the journey. Missing the antakshari and other games the interns in the team have organised, some of the activities for team work you’re actually looking forward to.

At the hotel, the check –in is a chaos. For cost purposes, triple occupancy is the norm. Of course, your roomie is the colleague whom you love the most in the office (sarcasm, eh).

Post check-in, you are fascinated by the services the grand property has to offer. Never have you seen such an elaborate fruit plate on the side table, such fine wine in the room bar [which is not on the house], a luxurious toiletries kit [which you decide to pack on your way back] or a phone in the bathroom!

Your dream run is disturbed by the copy of the itinerary (complete with fun employee activities so-called fun brainstorming activities for professionals) on the well –laid out bed which asks you to be in banquet (most probably named after some stone – jade, emerald etc.) in the next half an hour.

As you reach the banquet in a hurry, you realize you are the first to be on time. But obviously you are too lazy to go back to the room as it’s about a KM away from the banquet hall.

The conference is about to begin but there is an IT related issue. The projector takes another ten minutes to start. Subjected to a sea of presentations next , the notepads on your table is filled with your work of doodle arts, the sugar candies on the table finished and wrappers strewn all over, your WhatsApp group pinging, yes the one without boss (battery almost drained) judging slides and presenters. The “thank you” slide is the sign of the biggest relief.

Calls are returned with an auto SMS response of “I am in a conference”.

Tea Breaks seem like oasis. Lunch break like gluttony contests.

Finally the ordeal ends as they announce to change into your informal outfits and reach for the office party in the evening. DJ night and some booze to forget all the work is all that you want at this point. It takes 3 pegs for the nagin dances to be on the floor and obviously gets wilder as the boss retires to room.

Next morning, you don’t remember of anything that happened last night. You had plans to explore the grand pool, but they are down the ‘drain’ as you head for the lavish spread of breakfast about 20 minutes before the buffet closes.

Day 2 consists of some customary group brainstorming activities and activities for team building and time for shopping before packing everyone in the bus. You have a lot of fun, learn a thing or two. Wow to change and then get into the bus only to realize that your ‘boss’ is having a review while going back [what a @#$%^] and will never change! There go the learnings!

You are back at office. Talking about who got drunk and who said what. This goes on for three days before you realize that work has piled up again. Welcome to the grind!

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